| I'm not sure if anyone will read this. I know my xanga has fallen apart. I don't have much time to comment on people's sites and I do apologize. I guess I've sort of shifted over to Myspace. The saddest thing is, I started it the same reason I started a xanga...hoping some girl would comment me if I started one too, lol. (both failed :S) So...let me know if any of you have myspace, because I hate the fact I've lost so much contact with so many of you. This just might be my final xanga post, I can't be sure. But hopefully I get back into habit of leaving people comments. Right now I just have no time it seems. I miss everyone. And I hate change. I've always wanted to get out of High School...I still do...but it's just hitting me how much things will change. So many things don't make sense anymore...but there is always one constant and my life. And, it is probably the saddest thing in the world. Every so often, I fell headlong into a ridiculous problem. And I overexaggerate it until it's life threatening. But I've always pulled through and it's made me stronger. And it's made me much smarter, too. I guess I should get to the point...almost 2 years ago, I fell for a girl. Someone who wasn't "hot" or whatever you look for in High School. She wasn't like that at all...because I fell for who she was first. And yet, she's the most gorgeous person I have ever seen. The problem with me now, out of camp, is I tend to fall for girls based purely on looks...which is horrible. Things always end up going horribly wrong (like recently). And everytime things collapse, I think of her. It's been 2 years, and I still think about her. So that either makes me a hopeless romantic or a stalker. I do not care how long it takes, or what it takes, or what I have to do or what I have to give up or sacrifice. I do not care anymore. For 2 years, I have wondered about this girl and I am through wondering. God willing...I am going to somehow get a hold of her. I am going to find you, Stephanie Firle, even if it's the last thing I do. I have to find you...because without you, it means there can be no true love in this world. And, true love is something the world could not exist without. I just have to find you because this whole time, I think God's been teaching me one long lesson. You can't go for a girl based on looks. Suddenly I feel things make sense...the reason I've been so alone in High School is because I've been looking for the wrong thing. Maybe I've been so alone for so long because God wants me to find the right person at the right time and that will make up for everything. I just have to find you. Because somehow I know things are supposed to work out. And no matter what it takes, it's worth it. Because I would give everything I have just to stand a chance with her. Just a chance would make everything worth it... |
